Date: Mon, 25 Mar 2002 13:49:17 -0800 (PST)
From: Jeff Klaus <clownboat2000@yahoo.com>
Subject: Secrets of CompUSA from a former employee
To: CyberPagan@OutoftheDark.com

I (unfortunately) worked at CompUSA store #467 (Towson, MD) for 1 year.  Here is a bit of CompUSA's
dirty laundry:

1. Yes, they have a shrinkwrap machine in the warehouse, and yes, they re-shrink returns and put
them back on the shelf.  No, they don't test them.

2. Yes, the salespeople know they are bullshitting you.  If you ask them a question they can't answer,
they WILL lie to you, and MIGHT go ask a technician find out the answer later (but probably not).

3a. CompUSA makes only a tiny profit on items such as computers, printers, cameras, game consoles, etc. However, items such as cables, paper, and other miscellaneous accessories are marked up by as much as 1000% (a printer cable that retails for $20 costs them $2).

3b. CompUSA's extended warranties, TAP, ESP, whatever they call it nowadays, are their cash cows.  A $150 extended warranty costs them $10-$15 (this applies to other chains such as Circuit City and Best Buy).

4a. The chances of the technicians being even remotely knowledgable at any given store are 50/50.  The chances of them having the certifications advertised on the board outside the tech shop are too small to be measured.

4b. Your chances of getting your machine repaired properly in the originally quoted time frame are zero.  Your chances of getting your machine repaired properly at all are 50/50.

4c. Your chances of the store attempting to refuse to honor your warranty are 95%.

5. If you have a complaint about a refund/exchange, you have a 50/50 chance of the manager coming over to speak with you (not counting the front-end manager, who has remarkably little authority in matters of importance).  Sometimes, making a scene in the middle of the store is the only way to get the manager to talk to you.  Usually, they will hide in the back, and will typically choose to make their customer service reps look like dipshits rather than help you themselves.

6. Don't expect to actually be able to buy any of the really good items in the weekly sales circular.  The stores intentionally order only small quantities of the items, which sell out almost immediately.  They just want to get you into the store.

7. Managers will usually tell you to go ahead and sue them and/or contact your local news' consumer advocate before they will issue you a refund.

8a. Most of the employees at the store don't care. About much of anything.  Especially you.  Management has treated them like shit, has refused to allow them to take lunch, shorted their paychecks, refused time off, (illegally) refused benefits such as health insurance, and even (illegally) refused holiday pay when forced to work holidays.  They have been hired into the positions they requested, only to be transferred to another department as soon as possible because no one wants those jobs.  As far as the few employees who do care, most inanmiate objects have higher IQs.

8b. Referencing numbers 6 and 8a, one customer was furious after finding out that a particular item was sold out the day it went on sale, and that no more were being ordered.  He proceeded to literally take a shit on the floor of the men's bathroom before storming out of the store.  A coworker of mine, who was in the software sales department, was told by a manager to go clean it up.  When he refused, he was written up and sent home for insubordination. 

9. True story: One of my coworkers, a cashier, had a sister whose boyfriend was not a very nice fellow. One evening, the sister and boyfried came in while she was working.  They brought a complete system up to her register, where the boyfriend demanded that the system be run up at an insane discount or "else".  She did so, then immediately went to the managers.  She was fired.

10. True story: CompUSA is in the practice of throwing away old parts and machines (typically Compudyne, an obsolete brand they had once marketed).  They will NOT allow employees to have/purchase these old parts or machines.  A customer brought in his old Compudyne system for repair.  During a cleaning of the tech shop, his system was thrown out and destroyed along
with all of the old hulks that were normally thrown out.  Instead of calling him and offering to
compensate him, the managers ordered a technician to use another old Compudyne case and build a system that was as close to the customer's as possible, and to not inform the customer.  Nevermind that the serial number was obviously wrong, and that they had never had the chance to inventory his system to find out exactly what hardware he had.  The customer was given the replacement without being told what had happened.

I will send in updates to this as more horrible, horrible memories return.  Right now, this has given
me a stomach ache.